Dating Tips from W and the Department of Faith

[North Texan]

Landover Baptist

[tardfarmer]

To be perfectly honest, I don't have a problem with any of that. Someone who actually does follow that "advice" (and yes, some of it is goofy) will NOT end up with 6 illigitimate kids that I have to support through my taxes...

they will not end up getting STD's and Aids....

But the thing I found absolutely HILARIOUS about that, was the advertisment on the bottom of the page for the WHAT WOULD JESUS DO THONG.


And what the hell is with the using an ace bandage on your morton at night?

Baptists sure are some nutty people........

[North Texan]

And what the hell is with the using an ace bandage on your morton at night?

I wondered how long it would take for you to catch that one. I was LMOA at that rule!

[tardfarmer]

I had to go back and re read it a second time when just as I was closing out the window I saw the Thong............

"Don't have sex, wrap your morton.... but buy these skimpy thongs..."


Now I know why they tell them to wrap their mortons....

[tardfarmer]

5. SPRUCE UP!
Wear Christian cologne. The only Christian cologne available is "Betty Bowers' The Essence Of Christian Men." If you do not have any Christian cologne, rub your face in a Bible until you smell like the pages.

What if your bible smells like a woman?

8. KEEP THE PASSION SUPPRESSED
If the bandage work on your penis fails in the slightest bit, excuse yourself for the men's room and re-adjust the harnessing.

Didn't the Chinese used to practice this, except with them it was foot binding?

10. SQUELCH YOUR PASSION
If you have not had a nightly emission before your date, make certain that you take extra precaution. Use an ace bandage or knitting yarn to tie your penis back against your stomach or underneath your hiney. If you tuck instead of tie, make sure that the tip of your penis does not curl back far enough to enter the hole in your hiney where you go poopy out of - otherwise you might accidentally sodomize yourself and inadvertently become a homosexual.

Damn, Baptists must be hung like horses.... I may convert...

[Aught Six]

I take it this is your first time reading from the Landover Baptist web page, tard? Check back regularly--there's always something concerning whatever currently threatens our country's morality.

[tardfarmer]

I take it this is your first time reading from the Landover Baptist web page, tard?

Yup,

never heard of them before today.... damn, what a bunch of whack jobs.

[Aught Six]

what a bunch of whack jobs

ROTL

[badshotbob]

ORIGINAL: tardfarmer

And what the hell is with the using an ace bandage on your morton at night?

You don't do that? I wrap mine every night, and daily before work. Keeps me from tripping over it.

[datamax]

thats a very messed up web site