[b]We at Bon Reddance Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of you left-wing entertainers and similar ilk desire to leave the country now that George W.Bush has been re-elected.
With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who wish to keep their promise! Attention: Alec Baldwin; Rosie O'Donnell and wife; Ed Asner; Janneane Garafalo; Whoopi Goldberg; Al Franken; Michael Moore; Cher; Pill Donahue; Rob Reiner(still a "meathead"); Barbara Streisand; Jane Fonda; the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times; and anyone else who made us that promise.
Please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Cruise Ship, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Kandahar, Afghanistan.
You, however; may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq or some similar sunny location. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your departure.
Please pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS.
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any guns or other weapons...whether of the mass destruction variety or not. Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, John Edwards as cruise director, and Gray Davis as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the money). "Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below decks away from the media.
Monica Lewinsky will be the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl". Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, and movies by Michael Moore will be shown each evening.
John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will need them while playing.
Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his experience in rescuing people from drowning has not been too successful.
Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide inspirational services, and Al Franken will give inspirational tirades each afternoon.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village will raise your children while you're on vacation.
"Bon Voyage!" Is this a great country or what?
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"Bitte, trinks du das Wasser nicht. Dahin haben die Kuhen gesheissen."
ATTN: Left-wing liberals
