Perturbed because he continued to lag behind George W. Bush in the polls, John Kerry made a trip to the White House to see the 43rd president, determined to find the secret to his success.
"George," he said. "How do you manage to stay in the good will of the American people despite all our attempts to portray you as a bumbling idiot?"
Bush thought for a minute. "Well, watch this," he said, as he turned and yelled for Vice-President Dick Cheney.
"Dick," said Bush. "Who is your mother's brother's nephew?"
Dick grinned. "Dubya, that's easy. My mother's brother's nephew is me!"
Bush looked at Kerry. "You see, John, there's the answer to your question: You have got to have a smart running mate."
Amazed at the simple ingenious strategies of George W. Bush, Kerry hopped a plane back to his campaign headquarters, determined to find a smart running mate that would help him win the presidency.
He immediately got on the horn to former war commander Wesley Clark, who he considered one of the front-runners among his VP candidates.
"Wesley, I have a question for you," he said. "Who is your mother's brother's nephew?"
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Finally, Wesley came back: "Gee, John. I'm afraid I don't know. Can I get back to you on that?"
Clearly perturbed, Kerry mumbled, "yeah, yeah, get back to me." He hung up the phone, mumbling about the lack of qualified VP candidates.
Meanwhile, Clark paid a visit to DNC Chairman Terry McAuliffe. "Terry," he said. "John Kerry called me a few minutes ago with a really odd question. Now, as you know, I'm trying to stay in his good graces so that he will pick me as his running mate. So I need to know the answer to this question: Who is your mother's brother's nephew?"
Terry grinned. "Why, Wes, ya old goat, that's easy. My mother's brother's nephew is me!"
Clark's eyes lit up. "Wow! Thanks Terry!" he said. Rushing back to the phone, Clark rang Kerry at the campaign headquarters.
"John! John!" he said excitedly. "I know the answer to your question!"
"Great," said Kerry. "What is it?"
"Well," said Clark, "my mother's brother's nephew is Terry McAuliffe!!!"
Furious, Kerry screamed into the phone, "NO NO NO, YOU IDIOT!! Your mother's brother's nephew is Dick Cheney!!!"
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Smart running mate
