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Politics Nothing goes with politics quite like crying and complaining, and we're a perfect example of that.

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Old 05-18-2004, 07:51 AM   #1
Nontypical Buck
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,553
Default Democrat, Republican, Southern Republican

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

What with elections coming up, we should all decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
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Old 05-18-2004, 08:46 AM   #2
Nontypical Buck
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: South Central Wisconsin
Posts: 1,007
Default RE: Democrat, Republican, Southern Republican

Quote:
"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
"Sure waz sum perty shootin' Daddy! Was them yur Winchester Silva tips?"
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Old 05-18-2004, 08:52 AM   #3
Dominant Buck
 
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Location: Ramsey , Indiana
Posts: 22,547
Default RE: Democrat, Republican, Southern Republican

Handles has a point ,
you have to say it right for the audience you're aiming for .

BTW , Southern Republican .
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:51 AM   #4
Nontypical Buck
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
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Default RE: Democrat, Republican, Southern Republican

You'll are right, my apoligies are offered for the inadequate lanquage representation of the southern lady.
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Old 05-18-2004, 10:15 AM   #5
 
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Default RE: Democrat, Republican, Southern Republican

Southern Republican AND PROUD!
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