Hey VC - I tried your "parenting" skills last night ..

stealthycat · 03-03-2004, 05:22 AM

So I was thinking, hey, maybe VC is right on the spanking thing. So last night I tried a non-spanking, non-confrontational, non-abusive, non-demanding type parenting and thought you'd like to know the results.

I got home and my 4 1/2 year old girl (Abby) was in the back yard with he 2 1/2 year old brother (Ethan). Well, gave hugs and kisses and they went back to playing and she started throwing sand in his hair. I asked her politely not to do that, and a few minutes later she was doing it again, and he was throwing sand back. I asked 3 more times that both of them not throw sand ... didn't work though, they didn't listen.

So anyway a bit later they come inside wanting to watch a movie. I explain that they didn't listen earlier on throwing sand, no movie. Well, Abby is a smart little girl, she knows how to turn the TV on herself. So we played me turn it off, her turn it on game for a while. I even asked her politely to go the corner for a time out - she ignored me. So frustrated with the lack of any progress I let them watch a movie.

So then comes supper time. I fixed a nice left over supper of chicken, potatoes and green beans. That didn't go over well at all. Both children were crying that they didn't liek this and didn't like that. I tried politely explainin gthe benefits of eating healthy foods - didn't work. Long story short I finally had to give them M&M's, potatoe chips and pepsi.

Normal bedtime is 7 pm for our kids .... not last night. I asked repeatedly for them to go to bed - they ignored me and kept playing. I tried to convince them the severity of not listening to me, that there would be reprecussions for misbehavior, but it fell on deaf ears. They played and played and finally crashed at 1 am this morning.

sigh

Its tought being a "good" parent.

Tazman · 03-03-2004, 05:48 AM

stealthy you are a lousy parent, you know you should have doubled up thier ritilin dosage, they would have been in a drug induced stupor in no time! Now that is parenting, simply drug them kiddos up and relax.

logs · 03-03-2004, 06:06 AM

S-Cat, It doesn't sound like you had your heart into your experiment.
Im not siding with VC here and I did not read all the post on that thread but from what I did read I don't think it is just a matter of saying, "Don't do that"

I spanked my sons when I believed it was appropriate as I stated early in the other thread. There were certainly more times when I interviened and corrected them, explained the whats, the why nots and therefores to them and assigned some other form of discipline and it did work. Other times it did not. The problem at my house was that, unfortunately on each occasion when we brought our sons home from the hospital after brithing we failed to get the manual. Therefore it was a learn as you go, see what works best under different conditions and with the different two son we had.
I don't think there is any one answer. It is a blend of what works best for each child and a well thought out plan by the parent(s).

vc1111 · 03-03-2004, 06:21 AM

Quote:

It is a blend of what works best for each child and a well thought out plan by the parent(s).

Amen.

NY Bowhunter · 03-03-2004, 06:23 AM

I would have been watching out the window and if my son even grabbed another handful of sand after being told once, I would have been out the door with a guarantee their wouldn't be a 3rd time.

stealthycat · 03-03-2004, 06:29 AM

NY Bowhunter - You'd have physically beaten and mentally scarred your child ? (according to VC)

I took the OPPOSITE approach with my wife BTW. Instead of sitting down with here and talking, I scolded her, sent her to her room and then spanked her real good for trying to come back out.

One of my better nights I might add

vc1111 · 03-03-2004, 06:31 AM

I used to say things to my sons that went something like this:

"I'd love to take you to hockey tonight, but I just feel like watching TV"...

"Come on, Dad! We've gotta go!"

"Well, you remember when I was asking you over and over to take the trash out but you were too busy, watching TV, right?"

Silence.

"Well, I'm too busy to take you to hockey practice tonight."

Silence, ...followed by the sound of trash cans being dragged to the end of the driveway.

NY Bowhunter · 03-03-2004, 06:37 AM

Quote:

NY Bowhunter - You'd have physically beaten and mentally scarred your child ?

physically disciplined yes

scarred?? I don't think so

I show an overwhelmingly more amount of love, compassion, and participation with them then I do anger or physical discipline. But, when it's time to get it right.........it's going to be right!!!!!

Fear is also a powerful tool (to a degree)- I'm not saying I want my kids to walk around fearing me, cause we all know they will not feel very comfortable coming to you with a situation they may need advice with if they fear you. What I'm saying is fear can be a useful tool if handled the correct way. In a way I want my kids to have a certain degree of fear of me so I don't have to pysically discipline them.

burniegoeasily · 03-03-2004, 06:58 AM

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child. My children understand what a spanking is (spanking not a beating). The older they get, the less they get spanked. They are 6 and 7 now and very seldom will they get a spanking (may be once or twice a year), or I should say need one.

burniegoeasily · 03-03-2004, 07:01 AM

Quote:

I'd love to take you to hockey tonight, but I just feel like watching TV"...

"Come on, Dad! We've gotta go!"

"Well, you remember when I was asking you over and over to take the trash out but you were too busy, watching TV, right?"

Silence.

"Well, I'm too busy to take you to hockey practice tonight."

Silence, ...followed by the sound of trash cans being dragged to the end of the driveway.

That gets used quite a bit at my house. Only thing is it workes when you have a situation to use, also will only work when what you have to take is important to the child. It also is a kid by kid thing. My kids are like night and day. What works for one will not work for the other.