DUI Prevention Measure

[CalHunter]

A buddy sent me this one. Maybe it would be an alternative to the yellow license plate idea.

Subject: A Speeding Juggler

A California Highway Patrolman pulled a car over on I-5 about 5 miles south of the Delano.

When the Chippy asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Bakersfield to do a show that night at the American Legion and didn't want to be late.

The officer told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket.

The driver told the officer that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The officer told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Chippy got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car, a drunk got out and watched the performance briefly, he then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The officer observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there's no way in hell I can pass that test."

[Vapodog]

cute story

[CalHunter]

Vapodog, here's a true story as told to me by a CHP Officer one night at an unrelated traffic stop.

The chippie had stopped a guy down in the LA area and was conducting FST's (field Sobriety Tests). He heard a car slam on its' brakes and screech to a halt just behind his parked CHP car. He called over to the driver to ask if he was okay. The driver replied (in a very drunken voice) that he was fine, he has just stopped for the train signal (CHP car's rearward flashing lights). Needless to say, the chippie arrested that guy for DUI and loves telling that story.

[logs]

Those are great. This one isn't as good but is funny.

I was checking on the proper set up of one of those educational radar displays trailers that are set up along busy streets to inform drivers how fast they are traveling. I had my squad stopped about 50 yards passed the sign and was talking to the traffic safty engineer that set that unit up when a car pulled in behind my squad and stopped. I walked back to the vehicle and asked the woman behind the wheel if I could help her, was there anything wrong. She stated, "No. I just saw I was speeding and pulled over to get my ticket"
I gave her a verbal warning, thanked her and as I sent her on her way I told her she may not want to tell her husband what she did today.

I sent that one into reads digest but it did not make the humor in uniform section.

[Buckshot]

OMG, how did you keep a straight face? That is toooooooooooo funnnnnnnnnny