A research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical
element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named
Governmentium.
Governmentium has one neutron,12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons
and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of govemmentim causes one reaction to take over four
days to complete when it normally would take less than a second.
Govemmentium has a normal half-life of three years: It does not actually
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, govemmentium' s mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons forming
isodopes.
This characteristic moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as: Critical
Morass
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The Tazman aka Martin Price
Proud father of a Devil Dog
Advanced physics, major discovery!
