Ive mentioned my oldest daughter in here before, she lives with her Grandmother in Montana.I complained about the legal system, the child support system and everything in between after her mom took off with her when she was 1 and as soon as they got acrossed the state line they dissapeared and none o these agencies would give me any information on her.
I think I posted last spring on how she tracked me down and got in touch with me 14 years after the fact.We talked, Ive spoken to her grandma, and weve sorted through a lotta what happened back then, and in the years since I last seen her.
Well today at 2:30 shes flying in to spend a week with us, shes 16 now and I havent seen her in 15 years.I cant tell you how excited, and scared I am at the same time.I really never thought Id see her again after that many years had passed but she sems to be quite a strong willed young lady, I cant imagine it was easy for her to call in the first place, let alone travel across country to spend a week with the family shes never knew and has no memory of.I dont know how its going to go but I hope it goes well.Wish me luck, its going to be tough getting to know her again but I havent been this excited in a long, long time.
Yes, good luck - and be patient. She's probably just as anxious or scared. She may also be taking some heat from her mother if she's not supportive of this meeting, and that mother-daughter relationship can be pretty influential.
Don't overwhelm her (this isn't the time for the entire family to have a reunion) or get too bogged down in the past, but do make sure she knows how excited you are to see her after so long. Let a small step today pave the way for more small steps in the days and weeks to follow.
I do wish you luck. I have a good friend who knocked up a gal in Germany. He's had to pay support for all these years while his daughter had ended up in foster care, raised by another family. He Finally tracked her down, had a chat with her foster family and got to finally met her for the first time. She now has come twice to stay with him during the summer but he says I'm not allowed around her LOL, she's a real hottie. So, I went off on a tangent. Anyway, it's been a great thing to happen for him and I'm sure it will be for you.
__________________
John Adams “The moment the idea is admitted into society that property is not as sacred as the laws of God, and that there is not a force of law and public justice to protect it, anarchy and tyranny commence.”
Ronald Reagan: 'Everybody that is for abortion has already been born'
"I never said I was worth it. I only said I wouldn't do it for less " William F. Buckley Jr.
I don't have much to add except to say good luck. I'm sure it will be fine.
The advice here has been pretty much what I would have said. I would leave it up to her if she wants to meet any other people. And it's great advice to not bad mouth the mother. She may ask what happened or how it went. She may have no idea, or she may have been told a different story than what you know. Just tread lightly.
This is a great opportunity. You can be honest without making it look like you're trash talking her mom. If you have to, put blame on the agencies you mentioned. She might think you never tried.
__________________
While you rest, someone, somewhere, is training. When you meet, you will lose.
Off topic
It's wonderful that she wants to see you.
