In order to increase sales, he decides to allow his loyal customers - most
of whom are unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. He keeps
track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers
loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into
Seanie's bar. Taking advantage of his customers' freedom from immediate
payment constraints, Seanie increases his prices for wine and beer, the
most-consumed beverages. His sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank (Angola
Irish Bank) recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and
increases Seanie's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern
since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these
customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities
are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these
abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as
their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager
(subsequently of course fired due to his negativity), of the bank decides
that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the
drinkers at Seanie's bar.
However they cannot pay back the debts. Seanie cannot fulfill his loan
obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 99
%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 95 %.
The suppliers of Seanie's bar, having granted him generous payment due dates
and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. His
wine supplier claims bankruptcy, his beer supplier is taken over by a
competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock
consultations by leaders from the governing political parties. The funds
required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
And an addition"¦
Horrified by the prospect of local alcoholics without a bar of their own,
the towns people elect a young, intelligent, articulate Mayor who promises
that by changing the way government works, he can solve the problem. After
winning the election, the Mayor promptly enacts a new law which requires all
those who are rich enough to afford to buy their own beer must also buy a
beer for a local alcoholic. This of course allows the alcoholics who have
become accustomed to drinking without paying for it, and believe they have
earned the right to continue doing so, to continue life as usual. The new
Mayor was hailed as a genius and everyone lived happily ever after. [/align][/align][/align]
An easier way to understand it!
