Are you ready for the coming Conventions?

[vc1111]

2008 Republican National Convention - Agenda

7:00pm ~ opening pledge of allegiance (all notwearing US flag pins denounced as communist sympathizers)
7:05pm ~ opening religious ceremony, presided by Ted Haggard
7:10pm ~ Larry Craig claims he's not a homosexual, and refuses to step down

7:20pm~ General Petraeus State of Iraq Address (brought to you by Halliburton)
7:45pm ~ Trent Lott tribute to Strom Thurmond
7:55pm ~ Larry Craig claims he's not a homosexual,but willstep downfor the good of the party

8:00pm ~ Rush Limbaugh, climate expert, addresses convention on why global warming does not exist, and how the Democrats are using it to push a pro-choice agenda
8:30pm ~ Sean Hannity spends the next 15 minutes telling everyone they are great Americans, and everyone in turn, takes their turn at telling him the same
8:55pm ~ Larry Craig claims he's not a homosexual, and now refuses to step down

9:00pm ~ The "I hate Gay people even though I am gay myself" presentation, Part I: Mark Foley on the importance of being involved with today's youth: how to use text messsaging more effectively
9:30pm ~ The "I hate Gay people even though I am gay myself" presentation, Part II: Larry Craig on proper bathroom etiquette: beyond the urinal
9:55pm ~ Larry Craig claims he's not a homesexual, and now decides he should reverse his guilty plea

10:00pm ~ The "Art of Deceiving the American people" award presented by Dick Cheney to Donald Rumsfeld
10:35pm ~ Torture Techniques of the West, and how to make them legal, Alberto Gonzalez
10:45pm ~ Satellite address from Saudi Arabia (Prince Bandar will explain the importance of democracy in the middle east but why his country is exempt)
10:55pm ~ Larry Craig claims he's not a homosexual, and now blames 9/11 for all his troubles (hey, it worked for Bush for 6 years)

11:00pm ~ George Bush address: (subtitles will be projected on main screen and translations available through your headseats)
11:30pm ~ Introduction of the next great hope: Fred Thompson (but we're all looking at his wife anyway)
11:50pm ~ Coronation of Fred Thompson as the next Ronald Reagan
12:00am ~ Larry Craig drives Mark Foley home

[CalHunter]

I can't wait to see your agenda for the Democrats.[8D]

[1SHOT_1KILL]

2008

Democratic National Convention

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning.

7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N.

7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging.

7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore.

8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning - Barney Frank presiding.

8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry.

9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.

10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin.

11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand.

11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay -­ Sean Penn.

11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton.

11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean.

12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore.

12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi.

1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

[vc1111]

Someone beat me to it, but they were sent to me and they both gave me a good chuckle.