I recently received this email and was surprised at some of the people making the comments. It's very funny and has more than a little truth in it.
Quote:
Subject: Some Frenchisms
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals.
Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
Mark Twain.
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me."
General George S. Patton.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion."
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh,
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
Regis Philbin.
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't
know."
P.J O'Rourke (1989).
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona.
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is
French, people."
Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam
out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France
either"
Jay Leno.
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman
Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.
Ted Nugent.
War without France would be like ... uh .. World War II.
"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says
'First Iraq, then France.'"
Tom Brokaw.
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
Dennis Miller.
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when
they needed us."
Alan Kent
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an
attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a
three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
Argus Hamilton
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'" Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
truffles in Iraq."
Dennis Miller
Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you
are French.
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known,
it's never been tried." Rep. R. Blount (MO)
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide.
The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly
fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris,
caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
__________________
Jesus Christ--The reason for the season!
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a veteran.
If you're certain you know everything, there's little opportunity to learn anything.
These are funny Cal and I've read them several times through the last few years via email and such.
I do wonder, however, where the recent and prevasive "hatered" for Franceby some Americanshas come from?
I think it's a combination of French smugness, haughtiness and their disdain for the rest of the world. Some of it is just their leaders to be sure but many French also think they are superior to the rest of the world and they don't have much to back up such a belief. I think France has never recovered or honestly attempted to recover or patch up the rift that occurred between us and them regarding the Afghanistan and Iraq wars, 9/11 and their dishonesty and corruption in the food for oil program and their weapons sales to Iraq.
Most of these Frenchisms are simply humor poked at whoever is in the spotlight but there is a little truth to them and a lot of irony that the 1 single country who bends over backwards to placate the muslims and al queda is now reaping a reward many think is richly deserved. I don't personally hate France or the French people but I do find these jokes humorous and the riots in France to be highly ironic although sad as well. Hopefully the french people will elect better leaders who aren't simply stuck on stupid.[8D]
p.s. Uhhhh Ifferd, my man, can you pass those freedom fries?
__________________
Jesus Christ--The reason for the season!
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a veteran.
If you're certain you know everything, there's little opportunity to learn anything.
Been to Paris just once. It is a beautiful city inhabited by a bunch or arrogant smelly people who wanted my tourist dollar.
About half the people were out right rude and ignorant.
A quarter of them put on their smiley face for my dollar.
The remainder seemed to be genuinely nice people. I think those were the descendents of the GI who liberated the country.
The heroes of WWII in Europe did more than kill Germans. They planted the seeds life of and improved the back bones of many nations.
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Now you have to picture a combination of PeeWEE Herman and Wally Cox but with less muscle tone, trying to be intimidating None of this is funny! Message edited by Cougar Mag -- 1/7/2005 1:16:42 AM >/b]
Some Frenchisms
