Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when
residents of other states pass through our state, in an effort to
help outsiders understand Pennsylvanians, the following list
will be handed to each driver entering the state:
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work
before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel
drive because I need it....not just to keep up with the neighbors.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years
old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women
will get you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us
if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a
name for those little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth
for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
two pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and
served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends.
We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million doller combines
that we use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop
when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive pickups, trucks and tractors
because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too -- and turtle. You really want
sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstates 70, 76, 80, & 90 go East & West
Interstate 79, 81, & 95 go North and South. Pick one and use
it accordingly.
16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
18. That State Police Trooper who just pulled you over for driving like
an idiot... his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is.
Message from PA - VERY IMPORTANT!!!
