Don't buy that. Save your money for a new product I'm designing - the Falling Acorn Distress (FAD) call. Only $69.95 a dozen.
Here are the instructions for my product.
1. Position yourself at least 20 feet above ground level.
2. Remove a FAD call from your hunting pack and press the green start button.
3. The FAD will immediately begin to emit the following sequence in acorn language - Oh boy, I'm so fat and happy hanging on this branch. Uh-oh, uh-oh, I'm losing my grip. Oh NO - I'm falling.
(NOTE: Acorn language is not within the range of human hearing, but be assured deer recognize acorn language immediately and can hear it from a great distance.)
4. After the initial distress call has been broadcast, the small red light on the FAD will begin blinking. Immediately drop the FAD to the ground. The FAD will emit the following sequence in acorn language as it falls and hits the ground - Aiiieeeeeeeeeee! Offfff!
5. Remain alert for approaching deer. If no deer approach within twenty minutes, deploy another FAD. One twelve-pack of FADs will last for an entire 4-hour hunt. Recovered FADs may be reused.
(NOTE: It is recommended that FADs be used for morning hunts only, thus allowing the remainder of the day to search for deployed FADs. It is not recommended to attempt to recover FADs after sunset.)
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My wife says I'm totally nuts, but I think I'm Semisane.
Things I've Learned:
(1) It's not possible to please everyone, but quite easy to piss everyone off.
(2) If you love animals as I do, then you're not a vegetarian.
(3) There's no need to act stupid, even if you're very good at it.
(4) If you eat right and exercise, don't smoke or drink, you're going to die anyway.
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