RE: Best self defense pistol
A Double Action revolver would fit your bill well, they make great starters guns, (not to mention great anybody guns), they point easily (not as much so as Single actions, but good enough), and there are no bells or whistles to learn to use, making learning how to shoot well the only priority. The also offer what you want, good home defense, a single action revolver is the easiest to learn on quickly, but you have to cock the hammer for every round, which makes home defense harder. In a DA revolver like a .357, you could load full house rounds for when you' d be able to use it, and have your wife swap down to .38spcl rounds for when you' re not around (.44mag-.44spcl too, and .454cassul->.45colt, but those are both probably rather heavy for her). You don' t get more than 6 shots before a long period of no shooting with a revolver, but there aren' t many robbers that would hang around after you barked out 6 anyway, there are thousands of robbers detained on scene annually that are held up with empty guns, and no shots are fired in 98% of firearm self defense cases.
As far as a pistol goes, I' d recommend a Ruger p-series, they' re cheaper than most, very reliable, and easy to learn to shoot (bulbous grip assures that, it fits the hand well). Glocks are WONDERFULL!! but they are very pricey too, even a used glock would be more than a Ruger p-series. I LOVE 1911' s, own a few now still, owned more previously, the mil-spec versions are usually very sloppy when they hit the general public, and aren' t very reliable without some work. Pistols of any type will present more of a risk of jamming, regardless of make, there' s only one or two ways to jam a revolver shy of malfunction, while a pistol can jam in a goodly number of ways.
Maybe consider a hi-point (can' t recall exactly, always get it backwards, is it hi-point or hi-standard?) .380auto or 9mm para, the hi-points are cheaper than dirt, function well enough to count on when $hit hits the fan, they just aren' t great for serious shooting, they' re just good cheap self defense tools (I' ve had/had experiene with many of them that have NEVER jammed on me or my buddies over thousands of rounds of ammo, most were bought for under $100 new, just couldn' t hit a torso sized target much past 10yrds). In fact, I' m planning on buying another one soon as my paycheck comes in.
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