Girlfriends/Wives annoyed with your hunting

CutEm · 09-07-2010, 10:12 AM

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now and we are pretty serious, living together,etc. We started dating end of Sept last year and bow season was underway. At first she seemed supportive of my hunting. As time has progressed she seems to be very annoyed with it and hates that I want to go all the time. She even gets annoyed with me thinking about it all the time. I explained to her that she is my priority but hunting is a part of me and its something I love to do. During spring turkey I only went once a week usually on a saturday or sunday morning. When I was single I was hardcore and hunted up to 4 times a week. I was ok with going down to once a week for her because she is important to me. Now its like she doesn't want me to go at all. I usually do lots of preseason scouting, putting stands up etc, but this year I haven't done much due to not wanting her to think I care more about hunting than her. So my question is for you guys that are married or have girlfriends...how do you balance out this situation? I do plan on marrying her but will not give up my hunting. I'm hope after being together for a longer time she will just get used to it and she will be ok with it. I had a guy tell me after 32 years of marriage, his wife lets him go as he pleases. Any thoughts or recommendations? Please be nice and no bad remarks about my girlfriend.

chazspot · 09-07-2010, 10:25 AM

That, my friend is called a RED FLAG! You need to be yourself and let her know that your interests (as hers should be) are a priority. If you can't be yourself then it is not going to work. I've learned this over the years through my own relationships and others relationships also.

You should be fair about it, but your time is your time. If she has hobbies/interests then you should be supportive of hers as well.

If you have a problem with it now, wait until your responsibilities increase i.e. bigger home, kids, more demanding job potentially. Talk about taking away from your deer hunting time.

My advice; you need to have a conversation with her and let her know this is who you are. You can save yourself a lot of heartache in the future by being honest with her and yourself now. Good luck.

LKNCHOPPERS · 09-07-2010, 10:28 AM

Red Flag is an understatement. Don't get married if you are serious about your hunting. My GF hunts too and that is nice.

gutshot · 09-07-2010, 11:09 AM

My wife has always understood that hunting and fishing is very important to me and she has never had a problem with me being gone alot for that month or two in the fall. She knows that 10 months out of the year I'm at her "mercy" but October and November belong to me. Beleive me when I tell you if your lady doesnt like you going now it's not going to get better with time. If she finds out that by getting peed off at you that you'll cave in and start doing less of it she will keep on until you don't hunt at all.

crenshaw · 09-07-2010, 11:13 AM

Wow you got to get her a hobbey. Thats the problem. I agree with the red flags but maybe getting her into something that buys you time or something is the key. My Fiance is actually really cool about me hunting and sure she would love for me to spend all my free time with her, but she understands that hunting is just something i do. Even if it means i leave her for a week or two hunt elk or Im gone every Saturday during the fall and holidays after deer. She even comes with me now to set up stands and cameras, granted she isnt into it but she does it for me. And usually afterwards i take her to dinner. Compromise.

Basically you need to have the talk. Say this is who i am and if you dont like it then we have some things we need hash out. If she loves you she will understand. Just like you have to understand that if she wants to go do something you cant stand that you got to do it. Its a two way street, and a successful relationship is about communication and compromise. She needs to compromise for you and vice versa.

But if she isnt willing to adjust for you on something that is truely your passion its defiantly a red flag. It means she puts herself first and that will not make for fun down the road.

Been in your shoes before, if she is willing to work with you then i say she is a keeper, if not well thats your call.

dpj1030 · 09-07-2010, 11:16 AM

My Girlfriend Just recently broke up with me for these reasons. Hmmm.

ADVWannabee · 09-07-2010, 11:16 AM

I just bought my wife a TC Encore blackpowder gun to take her with me. But she grew up with a hunting/fishing family and understands it. She also let me get a motorcycle about 3 years ago and understands when I want to go for rides. So I would say at the very least you two need to have a discussion on how much time apart is expected. Hopefully you can come to some understanding.

Oh, and we have been married going on 22 years and dated for 3 before that with no end in sight.

V8Ranger · 09-07-2010, 11:29 AM

Try including her. Take her with you when you go out and scout and hang stands. I started to do that with my wife and now she will hunt. She wont bow hunt, but she will gun hunt. She enjoys helping me with the stands and likes seeing the " great outdoors ". Now maybe your GF is totally against hunting, IDK, but I'm sure she would enjoy the walks in the woods. A good friend of mine ( its where I hunt ), his GF is a vegetarian and wont even kill a mouse in the house. But she knows thats the way he is and accepts that. She tried at first to stop the hunting, but she lost, lol... She just accepts it now. Doesn't like it, but accepts it.

BIGBUCK17 · 09-07-2010, 11:33 AM

yea man thats a major red flag. my last girlfriend when we started goin out was ok with me goin hunting and stuff. well i hunt every single day i can starting in bow season and when duck season hits im duck huntin in the morning and bow hunting at night. well she started complaining about how much i was hunting and how i hardly ever saw her and i told her that i hunt and this is what i do and she better get used to it or she can leave. well the complaining kept going on so i finnally had enough and i kicked her @ss to the curb!! so man i hate to tell you but she is not just gonna start to like it if she dont like it there just really aint much that would change her mind but you definitely need to tell her how you feel about the situation and be nice about it. hope this helps

vvreddy · 09-07-2010, 11:39 AM

"I'm hope after being together for a longer time she will just get used to it and she will be ok with it."

Ain't gonna happen, rather you will get used to not hunting!! If you don't fix it immediately she will just nag you till you hunt on her terms. Been there myself and see it all the time with friends.