After many years of marriage, with the kidsgrown and out of the house, you get to a point where Christmas gifts get real simple. No more guessing or attempts to surprise. So,here's a conversation I had with my wife this afternoon.
ME:What do you want for Christmas?
HER:I'd really like a turquoise ring to match those ear rings you gave me last year.
ME:Fine, we can go shopping and you can pick one out, or you can just go out and buy the one you want.
HER: OK, I'll start looking. What do you want?
ME: Well, remember that little gun I was looking at in Cabala's, the Omega X7. I've been thinking about getting one but it's almost $400.
HER:Another gun? Don't you have enough guns yet?
ME: Yeah, I guess. But here's the thing. We've been married over 40 years and I'm happy as a clam. Looked at other women but never touched. Never felt the need for variety
in women. But guns are different. I sure enjoyplaying around with a different one now and then.
HER:You ought to go to Cabala's and pick it out yourself because I wouldn't know what I'm looking at. You want some ice cream?
Am I brilliant, or what?
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My wife says I'm totally nuts, but I think I'm Semisane.
Things I've Learned: (1) It's not possible to please everyone, but quite easy to piss everyone off. (2) If you love animals as I do, then you're not a vegetarian. (3) There's no need to act stupid, even if you're very good at it. (4) If you eat right and exercise, don't smoke or drink, you're going to die anyway.
Don't forget that Christmas BlackHorn 209 powder for your new gun..
And a new scope, and some Shockwaves, and quick release mounts, and ....
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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, a total wreck, screaming Yahoo, with a big smile on your face."
You mean you aren't supposed to fondle other women????
You can do that. It's no more dangerous than putting smokless powder in a sidelock.
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My wife says I'm totally nuts, but I think I'm Semisane.
Things I've Learned: (1) It's not possible to please everyone, but quite easy to piss everyone off. (2) If you love animals as I do, then you're not a vegetarian. (3) There's no need to act stupid, even if you're very good at it. (4) If you eat right and exercise, don't smoke or drink, you're going to die anyway.